in solitude, today...
never have i felt as though death was so close, as i had felt today. strange, the thoughts that go through your head while your so high with fear and adrenaline. it started with a few thunder claps...and from there, at the junction of spellman and pumpelli i was ravaged by rain and friggin hale. i decided to continue up to the summit because going down spellman might prove to be deadly or broken limbly. i'm not sure if it was a good choice or not. i was bombarded with the hale on the ridgeline for a good .7 mile without any tree cover for about 40 mins, wearing shorts and a t-shirt. i was slipping, and at times the wind blew so hard that the rain made a barrier that blocked my vision. at one point i decided that the skittle sized ice could quite possibly take out my eye...and i had at that point thanked the gods for the blessing that is vision. i later thanked them for the miracle that is water, which is the sustaining glue that holds life together, but which could also be my own demise. trecherous, these conditions, i felt that i was entering the very eye of the storm. I came to many revelations, and actually feel more in tune with myself, i know just how much i can endure. i know that some people might have cried and felt helpless in this situation, and i know now almost how tough i really am...or maye i'm more in tune with my personal survival instincts. that doesnt mean i didnt lose my cool, though...there was a point where i lost rational, slipped, swore and became frustrated, with this i was proceding onward worse than before. suddenly a voice within me actually took hold and i told myself, frustration will get you nowhere in this situation. i decided to calm my mind, i assured myself that i would get through this, and that i would only be stronger because of it.upon reaching the peak i had heard somone yell to me to take shelter under a rock with them, if they hadnt yelled, i may have passed them by...it was two guys...father and son, they said it was their fathers day hike that they had planned for days, Neil and Neil jr. i cracked a joke, i said i was Mandy, and that we were lucky, each of us would only have to remember 1 name- which my brain surely couldnt handle more at that point. so, i thanked them for being up there - i was so greatful for human contact - i had been alone for 2 hourrs now...the first of which were great and contemplative, the latter more spiritual and fearful. we decended down the white dot trail, luckily the rain let up about 20 mins after we left the summit - or maybe it was blocked by the trees...slippery but i felt secure knowing that if i were injured i would be all set.
overall.....an experience i wouldnt trade for anything...
a story i will tell for years....
...and i feel sooo excited to be alive...
my other shoe is now broken...
i hugged my parents soooo tight when i got home...
and i ate a buuuunch of food!
cracked a beer, took a hot shower -
and i feel complete
i feel whole
i feel that much closer
that much closer to
figuring out my soul...
that much closer to knowing my true self
thats what the journey is about...
not who has a job (i mean money) and the nicest things...
but knowing who you are,
what you stand for...
who you are inside
knowing who you think of before you know you could die if you make one wrong move...
i'm closer to myself than i have ever been
i'll never be the same
i feel great.
but there is someone i miss
Posted by Lovely Miss Mandy at 6:29 PM
3 Comments
sweet story, brah.
never have i felt as though death was so close,
as i had felt today. strange,
the thoughts that go through your head while your so high with fear and adrenaline.
it started with a few thunder claps...and from there,
at the junction of spellman and pumpelli,
two Hiking Trails on MT MONADNOCH with both footholds and Handholds... Hiked once or twice before with my Mother, Mary K. This time, for the first time, Braving the Storm Alone,
I was ravaged by rain and friggin hale. Lonely and beguiled,
I decided to continue up to the summit because going down spellman may have
proven to be deadly or broken-limbly.
I'm not sure if it was a good choice or not.
got was bombarded with the hale on the ridgeline for a good
.7 mile without any tree cover for about 40 mins,
wearing shorts and a t-shirt.
I was slipping, down the turpid decent of the
remainder (See poem, Slipstream of Endless thoughts"
of thoughts, Memories. People Places Things all rush back so quickly,
as I seldom touch bottom.
At times the wind blows so hard that the rain
makes a barrier that blocks my true vision.
This hail was HUGE!
at one point i decided that the skittle sized ice could quite possibly take out my eye!!!
...and i had at that point thanked the gods for the blessing that is vision. i later thanked them for the miracle that is water, which is the sustaining glue that holds life together, but which could also be my own demise.
Treacherous, these conditions, i felt that i was entering the very eye of the storm. I came to many revelations, and actually feel more in tune with myself, i know just how much i can endure. i know that some people might have cried and felt helpless in this situation, and i know now almost how tough i really am...or maybe i'm more in tune with my personal survival instincts. (Primitive?
)
That doesn't mean i didn't lose my cool (I'm just the mad Hatter, Late, Late for a very important date!),
Though...there was a point where i lost rational, slipped, swore and became frustrated, with this i was proceeding onward worse than before. suddenly a voice within me actually took hold and i told myself, frustration will get you nowhere in this situation. i decided to calm my mind, i assured myself that i would get through this, and that i would only be stronger because of it.
upon reaching the peak i had heard someone yell to me to take shelter under a rock with them, if they hadn't yelled, i may have passed them by...it was two guys...father and son, they said it was their fathers day hike that they had planned for days, Neil and Neil jr. i cracked a joke, i said i was Mandy, and that we were lucky, each of us would only have to remember 1 name- which my brain surely couldnt handle more at that point. so, i thanked them for being up there - i was so greatful for human contact - i had been alone for 2 hourrs now...the first of which were great and contemplative, the latter more spiritual and fearful. we decended down the white dot trail, luckily the rain let up about 20 mins after we left the summit - or maybe it was blocked by the trees...slippery but i felt secure knowing that if i were injured i would be all set.
overall.....an experience i wouldnt trade for anything...
a story i will tell for years....
...and i feel sooo excited to be alive...
my other shoe is now broken...
i hugged my parents soooo tight when i got home...
and i ate a buuuunch of food!
cracked a beer, took a hot shower -
and i feel complete
i feel whole
i feel that much closer
that much closer to
figuring out my soul...
that much closer to knowing my true self
that is what the journey is about...
not who has a job $$$ (i mean money) and the nicest things...
but knowing who you are,
what you stand for...
who you are inside
knowing who you think of before you know you could die if you make one wrong move...
i'm closer to myself than i have ever been
i'll never be the same
i feel great.
What ever happened to My Sage>
I'm Lookin for the cure!...
This aint no love ballad!
Post a Comment
« Home